When Visualization Fails

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A decade ago, I figured out energy orgasms. I’d be making out with a woman, send her energy, and she’d spontaneously orgasm. No genital contact, no suggestion, just energy. Worked with multiple women, including several non-mages and one energy worker who sent the energy back to me (which was fun, too).

I never understood what I was doing. I just thought about building energy in my groin, sent it to her groin and her head, and it just worked.

Until it didn’t.

I moved across the country, didn’t date much for a couple months. I also learned more about energy and shielding, which changed the way I built energy. And the energy orgasms stopped.

The visualization had been working because, through sheer luck, the natural default way I built energy happened to get a lot of things right. Wonderful. Except as I learned more, those natural defaults changed in some small way, and the same visualization produced slightly different energy. And zero orgasms.

For example:

  • What tissue do you build the energy in — nerves, muscles, something else? I had no idea.
  • Does the energy go to her aura, energy layer, or deeper layers? No clue.
  • What signatures of energy do you want? Um, the ones that my body produces when we make out?

I’m returning to this problem this month. Instead of focusing on sensations in my body, I’m using sensory connections to map the magickal structures involved in this energy, so I can make a plan. Instead of visualizing energy in my groin, I’m consciously directing my ethereal muscles to build energy in my nerves, and send it to my aura. This time, when I get it working, I’ll know why it works, so I can debug it and improve on it.

Which is really the point of direct magick.

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