You found my old blog. Thanks for visiting! For my new writing, visit mikesententia.com.
Today, I’m encountering resistance. I just can’t bring myself to do the work. So I’m writing this. Maybe it will give me insight. At least it’s more productive than video games.
A little backstory: On Monday, I learned to use more precise energy signatures when building energy in my body. Yesterday, I practiced it. Today, I’d planned to follow up on that training, verify I’m doing it correctly, and ask a couple of questions. But I keep not doing it.
For me, resistance comes in a few flavors. Figuring out the reason helps me overcome the resistance, so let’s list them and see which feels right.
Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed by the problem. But my tasks today are pretty easy, so it’s not that.
Other times, my ethereal muscles are just exhausted. But I can do communication just fine for manifesting, and I can work with energy, so it’s not that.
It’s not laziness. This feels different.
Which leaves vision. Do I believe in this path?
Well, following up on this training is obviously what’s next in learning to create sensations that non-mages can feel. So I’m not resistant to this particular step. But maybe I’m resistant to the project as a whole.
It is a big goal. It defines a path. See, long-term, I want to build a research organization. Maybe a non-profit, maybe a company that sells healing sessions, maybe something else. But an organization and a team to build a science of magick.
One path is to learn manifesting for investments. Stocks, commodities, gambling, something like that. This funds the company, and everything is easy after that. (At least, it is in my daydreams.)
Another path is to develop a clear demonstration of magick, collaborate with established researchers to publish studies, then get funding for an institute, either investors or donors, depending on the structure.
Creating sensations is a big step down that second path.
(Why not do the first path? Because I roughly know how to do the second path now. Not sure how to do the first. A bird in the hand…)
And I just figured out this resistance: That path is becoming more real. My daydreams used to be, “Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a team researching with me?” But lately, they’ve shifted to, “How will I contact researchers? How will I roll publications into investments? Am I good enough at explaining magick to handle that kind of publicity? How much time would I get to study magick, and how much will be spent networking, fundraising, and running an organization?”
My daydreams stopped being daydreams. They became planning, and anxiety, and I started avoiding it.
How do I solve that? Two ideas so far:
- I’m seeing this path as an option, rather than a requirement. Because I can develop this, then later decide what to do with it.
- I’m also making the conscious decision to daydream about fun things, like sharing this energy technique with friends and lovers. That creates the happy feelings that make research fun.
Thoughts? Tips? Leave a comment.If you liked this post, consider visiting my current blog at mikesententia.com.
Tags: Learning Magick, Resistance
Well in every process you get to a point where you realize that you might reach your goal soon and you start to see what is beyond that.
The main thing is to reach the goal – don’t get stuck by thinking what is behind that goal.
For me – I have similar problems.
Nobody there to share my experience nor training with others.
Often I think: whow that sensation/feeling was huge and new – but:
what exactly was it?
A new connection or imagination? Was this massive goosebump/shiver wave magick triggered or not?
Also sometimes it looks like it works – sometimes I feel no feedback.
Then I get doubt and stop that very tiring training for a while …
With so many ramifications to ponder, the best next step is to focus on the root/foundation of all the possible paths… what they have in common… the required aspect(s) that must be in all of them.
At this early stage, building a forum could be a great way to start attracting and selecting potential contributors, mages, researchers, beta-testers… like an epic open-source community for Direct Magick exploration/development/debugging.
Also, the nature of this exact project can be somewhat… challenging? In doing it, things that you accept from your personal investigations become open to the world, and there’s probably a bit of anxiety in that. You’ve been building a model (or at least, a phraseology) and now that opens up.
Personally, although I don’t think it’s at all necessary for doing magick (direct intention does most of the work), I’m really keen to bring all our ideas together on how magick works in the larger sense, and make that available in book form or similar. I love researching the ideas and synthesising them into my world view (as you can probably guess), and I’m a pretty good writer, but I find the step of ‘getting down to it’ pretty difficult. Even the part where I’ll just be drawing pretty pictures!
Topic of interest, perhaps you’d be interested in writing about it: The clash between different mages intending different things for a given situation, or intending something where it involves the other person happening to do things, perhaps out of character. How is this resolved do you think? It’s relevant re: funding your project and morality.
(The extreme version is, everyone gets what they want because as a single whole the universe has everything taken into account; your very intention is part of the effect, not the cause, of the universes changing. The other idea is that universe bifurcates to accommodate conflicting experience. Moral dilemma sidestepped either way. But the usual way to view things is that we are in one world with a collection of people and their intentions/wills/habits battle it out against each other…)
That’s quite a few different options. Going from very institutionalized and commercial sounding scenarios to something much more open source. Maybe its not resistance – it that its worth spending a little time now reflecting on which of those scenarios you want- and being clear on that. I’d bet you’re more keen on an open source scenario and that’s excellent. So am I. But, should it ever catch on, and left to chance things are far more likely to devolve into a restricted and copyrighted one- since that’s the dominant cultural paradigm.
But yes – until all the chapters in the first AND second books are written and there’s a really credible demonstration of creating sensations in non-mages ….no need to overly worry!
Even after you’ve achieved those 3 pretty substantial goals there should be a forum of people here to work with it in a more contained environment before it gets messy…and it will get messy but bring it on!…