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Today, I’m encountering resistance. I just can’t bring myself to do the work. So I’m writing this. Maybe it will give me insight. At least it’s more productive than video games.
A little backstory: On Monday, I learned to use more precise energy signatures when building energy in my body. Yesterday, I practiced it. Today, I’d planned to follow up on that training, verify I’m doing it correctly, and ask a couple of questions. But I keep not doing it.
For me, resistance comes in a few flavors. Figuring out the reason helps me overcome the resistance, so let’s list them and see which feels right.
Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed by the problem. But my tasks today are pretty easy, so it’s not that.
Other times, my ethereal muscles are just exhausted. But I can do communication just fine for manifesting, and I can work with energy, so it’s not that.
It’s not laziness. This feels different.
Which leaves vision. Do I believe in this path?
Well, following up on this training is obviously what’s next in learning to create sensations that non-mages can feel. So I’m not resistant to this particular step. But maybe I’m resistant to the project as a whole.
It is a big goal. It defines a path. See, long-term, I want to build a research organization. Maybe a non-profit, maybe a company that sells healing sessions, maybe something else. But an organization and a team to build a science of magick.
One path is to learn manifesting for investments. Stocks, commodities, gambling, something like that. This funds the company, and everything is easy after that. (At least, it is in my daydreams.)
Another path is to develop a clear demonstration of magick, collaborate with established researchers to publish studies, then get funding for an institute, either investors or donors, depending on the structure.
Creating sensations is a big step down that second path.
(Why not do the first path? Because I roughly know how to do the second path now. Not sure how to do the first. A bird in the hand…)
And I just figured out this resistance: That path is becoming more real. My daydreams used to be, “Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a team researching with me?” But lately, they’ve shifted to, “How will I contact researchers? How will I roll publications into investments? Am I good enough at explaining magick to handle that kind of publicity? How much time would I get to study magick, and how much will be spent networking, fundraising, and running an organization?”
My daydreams stopped being daydreams. They became planning, and anxiety, and I started avoiding it.
How do I solve that? Two ideas so far:
- I’m seeing this path as an option, rather than a requirement. Because I can develop this, then later decide what to do with it.
- I’m also making the conscious decision to daydream about fun things, like sharing this energy technique with friends and lovers. That creates the happy feelings that make research fun.
Thoughts? Tips? Leave a comment.If you liked this post, consider visiting my current blog at mikesententia.com.