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I’m trying to start a new project today. It’s not happening — too much resistance. But before we explore that, a bit of background.
You probably remember how learning level 2 communication helped my manifesting. What you may not realize is that, for close to a year, I’ve more-or-less known level 4 communication, used it a bunch of times, even gotten good manifesting results with it. But I never got L4* communication entirely correct, in part because it includes L2 communication as one of the steps, and, well, I didn’t know L2 communication.
*That’s how I refer to the level of a skill in my own notes. I’m going to use it here, too.
And seeing how useful L2 communication is made me wonder: What other skills have I missed? Did I skip L3 sensory connections? L1 shielding? What other holes are there?
And so, I’ve gone over about half of what I know, with the other half scheduled for November. I’d missed a technique for awakening mental muscles that’s mostly useless to me but will be excellent for beginners (and thus, excellent for my book.) I’d missed a skill with sensory connections that produces a holistic view processed from dozens of connections, which helps me see injuries and figure out the right approach to energy healing. And I’d missed a few other things.
But today, I’m stuck.
Last night, I talked with my mentor to pick the next skill to learn. He recommended physical and mental effects — energy healing, mood alteration, things like that — which would be useful, and he expects would give me good, satisfying progress quickly.
He also did manifesting for me, which said to learn level 3 communication, which leads to better manifesting, which will have the biggest short-term impact on my life. Not that L3 is particularly significant, but apparently something neat happens later on, at a higher level of communication. It’s a long path, but I trust the manifesting (especially my mentor’s manifesting), so I picked communication.
And yet, when I sat down to train this morning, I stopped, and instead wrote this.
My first thought was, “I’m good at L2 communication. And I might not be good at L3 communication. Certainly, I’m not good at it yet. And I just want to be good for a while.”
Writing this post, it also occurs to me that learning better manifesting is a long path. Not years, but months, maybe a year. So I can understand resisting that, and wanting to take a shorter path with a nearer payoff.
And yet, I still feel like I should learn communication. And I need to resolve all of this before I can get to work.
First hypothesis: What if I really want to learn physical effects, and that’s where this resistance is coming from? Let’s test it. I’m going to decide to study physical and mental effects, and see if the resistance disappears.
(Give me a minute to get into that new state of mind.)
Nope. The resistance lessened a bit, but it’s still there. Did not vanish.
So I think it really is that I just want to be good for a while. Proud of what I’ve learned, instead of uncovering more things I don’t know. Which, frankly, is a much more pleasant place to be, even if it is less useful.
I need some destuckification. And I have a technique for it: Consciousness integration, initially developed after reading that blog I linked to. I’m going rest for a bit, then try it, blogging as I go.
Quick refresher on consciousness integration: It works by having the semi-conscious part of your mind (the part generating the unhealthy thoughts or urges) talk with your conscious mind. To do this, you activate a new path between the two parts of your mind, then hold a particular mental posture to get them both talking. If everything goes right, the semi-conscious part updates to the adult world, and the unhealthy thoughts disappear.
(15 minutes later.)
I find the semi-conscious part of thinking mind creating that thought, “I just want to still be good for a while.” It’s already got an active connection to my conscious mind, which is good: Activating those paths is the slowest part of the integration.
The next step is to have the semi-conscious area talk with my conscious mind. Normally, I’d support my conscious mind through this, so all the adjustments happen in the semi-conscious area. But this time, I’m not sure I want to change this thought pattern. Maybe it’s right — maybe I do need more rest. So I’m going to let both areas talk while I pay attention to the conversation, and decide what to do after.
Then, 20 seconds later, it’s done. Here’s how the conversation went:
- Semi-conscious area: It’s been so long since I felt good with manifesting. (Thinking of the several months debugging it.)
- Conscious mind’s instinctive response: But don’t you want to get better?
- (My conscious verbal response: That’s a lame way to convince anyone. Trite, even. I think my conscious mind is losing this debate.)
- Semi-conscious area: Yes, I do.
And just like that, the resistance faded. I’m quite surprised it was that easy, and that delivering something so trite worked. (It worked because the message got to the right part of my mind — earlier, I’d thought it consciously, with zero results.)
But I don’t have time to dwell on this success — I have level 3 communication to learn.
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